Who should make the first move

[PrincessB]

Supposing you knew somebody and you both liked

each other, would you make the first move?

Infact, who should make the first move? 

Is it wrong  or okay for a woman to  *toast* a guy?

How is this perceived if a woman asks a guy out on

a date? 

[chioma]

I wouldnt ask a guy out..BUT I would be the last person to discourage any woman from doing so.
Another thing is....some guys may feel that their masculinity is being threatened....if a girl were to ask them out.
I guess it depends on the guy and the girl.

[PrincessB]

I see what you mean,

But what if it is obvious the guy

likes a the gurl, but he is too shy

to make the first move?

For me I prefer a man to chase me.

The good old fashioned way lol

Even I go add shakara on top.

  PrincessB

[KoolME]

ive been known to ask guys out.... ok let me rephrase that... when i like a guy and he is taking to long... i act.... i cant be bothered with subtle messages like flirting and all them long ways....

i am direct... i start the process... but at the last minute i let the guy claim the glory.... ive been known to ask guys for pen and paper (sometimes their fone) and then wait till the got the message and ask me for my number. (i know it's silly  )

sometimes, in life, if you want something, you have to go get it yourself because it is not everytime that it is just going to come to you!!!

[PrincessB]

I agree with you some guys are too slow.

I wonder if it a Nigerian thing, or what?

I think it is ok for a lady to make that

first move. Tho as you said let the guy

claim the glory.

I wonder is it culturally acceptable in Nigeria


for a woman to ask a guy out or to propose marriage?

PrincessB

[KoolME]

nah i would not advise a naija woman to propose to a naija man... he is most likely to use it against you later....

i dont think it is culturally acceptable... but it does happen it is just not spoken about.

[PrincessB]

  But WHY???

We are now in the year 2006... why is it unacceptable?

I wish some of the Brothers at least would join in with

this topic..cos I'm really intirgued by the whole hush hush,

don't express yourself thing. Yet  men want women to

show their feelings towards them, so why not with the

initial approach?

Princess B

[hkyBrOw?yS]

They say 'Good things come to those who wait"  By you asking a guy out when you know he likes you, isn't that being a tad impatient.
If you feel the guy likes you then when the time is right he'll ask you out.

I had this conversation a few weeks ago with a few male friends of mine and they said that they don't like it when the female is the one doing the chasing it's very unattractive.

In my honest opinion,  if  you think a guy likes you wait,  and if he doesn't ask you out it's probably because "HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!"

[PrincessB]

Chinky interesting...

but don't you think,, there might be situations where a guy is so

shy.. that he just finds it impossible to make a move and ask?

This is a general discussion..   It is not about me asking anybody out 

Some guys do like a woman to chase them.. I don't think we can

stereo type here. Different personalities, different situations?

[chioma]

"they don't like it when the female is the one doing the chasing it's very unattractive" ....I wonder why guys would think that?!

So they would instantly find a hot sexy goddess unattractive because she knows what she wants...
I beleive any guy that would be put-off by a females advances is likely to prefer a docile, subservient kinda girl...thats never good.

[Admin]

 

Posted by: KoolME 

nah i would not advise a naija woman to propose to a naija man... he is most likely to use it against you later....

 

I  don't think whoever proposed it does not matter.The whole idea is what comes after it?
Good home, Good family, Good marriage  happy home honesty and trust should be the good thing in keeping a happy home.
That is my contribution oo.lol

[PrincessB]

Now this is getting interesting,

My exact sentiment @ Wale. I often sit and wonder

how may people miss out on a good relationship,

all because culture says this or that.

Perhaps people should act more rather than hold

back and suffer in  silence. Or even in some cases

while you are busy pretending..someone  else

will appear and walk away with the Golden Prize!!!

[miguel]

the first move can be make for any of the two,everone have a different away to approach ones to slow another to fast if u see only few have the correct timing,but this already no what they want just a simple away to pass a good time.

[PrincessB]

So how do you know when the time is right? What are the signals to look for?

[Memunah]

If a Lady like a guy and wants him she shld go for him but In dis society of ours (Nigeria)you try dat everybody sees you as an harlot or a cheap lady.And i think its cos everybody thinks its the right of a man to ask a lady out.STUPID RIGHT(_{if you ask me)}cos some guys can be really shy and wont appraoch you and dats spoils d whole tin if u cant approach him too cos of some god damn societal values.On a normal day a guy shld be d one to do d asking but  if the guy slack and u like the guy.GO FOR HIM b4 anyone else collect am 4 ur hand

[PrincessB]

Society, what people will say or think contributes to a lot of couples not getting together,

and regretting it for the rest of their lives.

I think people should learn to ignore what others think and concentrate on going for
what they want.
Times are changing. Women should feel free to approach a man but do it with tact.

[ChiomaAnago]

I agree women should feel free to approach a man and ask him out, no matter what it does to his pride. I mean, if his pride is wounded then next time he should make the first move.

[PrincessB]

I agree women should feel free to approach a man and ask him out, no matter what it does to his pride. I mean, if his pride is wounded then next time he should make the first move.

Some men hold back because they are afraid it will be seen as sexual harassment.
So a woman could be waiting in vain.
If you like someone speak up!!!