You just found out He has another woman with a Baby!!!!

[PrincessB]

You and your man are Very close. You have been together,

and you really believe you know him VERY well. There is no

way he would cheat on you. Then one day  you are sorting

his clothes to be washed and you go thru his pockets, just

to make sure there is nothing in them.

You pull out a photo of Him and a another woman all dressed

nicely, holding a new born baby. By the way, They are both

wearing the same cloth.  How do you react? It is obvious

they are a happy couple. Yet you have a wedding ring on

your finger , what goes through your mind?  How do you

handle this very delicate matter that now involves a child?

PrincessB

[chioma]

Well obviously you have to confront him and ask questions.
Personally, I would leave any guy who lives a double life.
I would consider that a total betrayal of trust....

[PrincessB]

But wait.. what if you are still madly in love with him?

Is it that easy to walk out the door or would you

go home to your family for a while to clear your head

first? Besides he is pleading he cannot live without you!!!

PrincessB

[Admin]

Well, if am a woman, and I found myself in that situation, I will be very mad with him at 1st .But I will like to know why he did what he did.
If he can give me a very reasonable reason I might re consider him, if not that is the end of the show.

[PrincessB]

Exactly my feelings,... I don't believe in

just ending a relationship without giving

things a good try. Personally I would try

to be a friend to His other woman since

there is now a child involved.

But... He would have to be more open

to myself and His baby Mother.

PrincessB

[chioma]

Correct me if I`m wrong princessB,..are u saying that you would try to live happily ever after with a guy, his kid and baby mama?!
Wale, if you were a woman, what would you consider "a very reasonable reason" ? 
What possibly could be reasonable enough?...

I dont think I could continue with a guy who did that to me...no matter how much I loved him.
He wouldnt have done such a thing if he truly loved me.
Yeah, it would hurt...but there are other fish in the sea and I still got enough bait.
Different strokes for different folks...but thats what I`d do.

[PrincessB]

You know what.......

Imagine that you already had children with him?

And then he went and performed this stupidness..

Now you have a situation where children are involved.

Long term don't you think it is important that the

children should know one another?

I know I would probably walk away at the end of the

day..But I would want to ensure both mine and Her

children know they are family.

Wale........lol Honest crazy as it sounds..THERE IS

A METHOD TO MY MADNESS..

PrincessB

[KoolME]

oh this is a tough one.... i dont know...
 on the one hand... im going leave him.... cos the picture does not only prove that the cheated and had a child... but also that he is still with the woman.... otherwise there's no need for them to wear the same cloth. nah.... he does not love me.... fine he had an affair what happened to condoms.... i mean they just  over 3.00.... what if he caught sexual transmitted disease.... NAH forget it there is no other hand... i think i'll leave him....!!!! if i stay with him i would be punishing myself....

if i have kids with him... well i would be easier on him... cos of the kids... cos that means he'd always be around but i still would divorce him..... nah no way... i can take a lot of things but..... this... i dont know....

at first i thought you can make it work but thinking again NOWAY!!!!

[PrincessB]

But now here is the complicated question..

Your children and her baby are related.

Would you consider making sure the children

grow up knowing each other or would you

discourage yours from getting to know her

children. I know either way you look it is

not a nice situation...
 
But now this is about children and not HIM.

Well.. I mean when you look at the long term

situation won't it be children that suffer?

[temi]

Well that is a big one,so i think any woman it happens to should just take things very easy and ask so many questions,because such things can be very delicate in a  the sense that men can be very touchy and very defencive in such issues.so u have to be careful as to what you do and say as a woman at that time.If you still love him you just have to make him understand some personal things if u have any and what he has gotten him self into.cos at dat time if u over do things people outside wont see u as protecting your family but see as being jealouse.Thai is why i always advise women to have there own job or small buisness so that you would always have somthing to suport you in cases like this one because the money he was giving you as house keeping alowance automaticaly has been devided and so many othere thing.SO AS A WOMAN YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG IN ANYTHING YOU DO AND ENJOY LIFE NO MATER YOUR CONDITION AND AND SALARY,AND ALSO TAKE CARE OF YOR KIDS IF U HAVE ANY BECAUSE THEY REFLECT YOUN.THANX

[PrincessB]

Very true. A woman has to have something to fall back on. Either way,

She should be able to contribute and support her family.

I think in different situations, one has to look at where things went wrong,

and if possible try to keep the family together, as long as love still exists between

the man and woman.

[IFEOMA]

MY DEAR FELLOW WOMAN, YOU TAKE A DEEP BREATH ,YOU CRY ,AND YOU FEEL USED AND WHAT? PPL WILL TELL YOU TO STAY THERE AND IRON THINGS OUT MY FELLOW WOMAN AND YOU TRY TO STAY BUT YOU CAN'T. THE QUESTION YOU NEED TO ASK YOUR SELF IS THIS ACT COMMITTED BY YOUR SO CALLED MAN DOES THAT DEFINE YOU AS A PERSON?YOU HAVE TO ASK YOUR SELF CAN YOU HANDLE IT ?IF YOU CAN SAY YES MORE KUDOS TO YOU AND IF YOU CAN'T YOU SHOULD NEVER PUT YOUR SELF LAST. LIFE IS TO BE ENJOYED DO NOT PUT YOUR LIFE ON HOLD FOR ANY HUMAN .YOU' RE WORTH IT WHEN YOU SAY SO AND PPL WILL SEE U THE WAY YOU SEE YOUR SELF. BY THE WAY PPL READING THIS WILL SAY SHE NOT MARRIED . I AM MARRIED WITH 2 KIDS BUT MY SENSES ARE NOT GONE I WILL NOT PUT MY SELF ON HOLD IF MY BELOVED HUBBY FINDS ANOTHER WOMAN. BE STRONG AND FIND HAPPINESS GOD BLESS.

[PrincessB]

I would like to make an important comment here.
As the Author of this thread I must point out that, I am not going through this situation.
It was a simple random question asked to the general public.
I started this topic to get peoples view points. This is something that does happen
in real life and as such I felt it would be a topic worthy of discussion.

Thank you to everybody who has contributed to this topic and others on this site.

I hope to see more of you around the various sections.

Enjoy

PrincessB

[Memunah]

I Will Simply Ask him about it and watever he says will determine what my reactions will be.But am not going to let that ruin my marriage,am just going to cool off and work things out

[Admin]

I Will Simply Ask him about it and whatever he says will determine what my reactions will be.But am not going to let that ruin my marriage,am just going to cool off and work things out

I agree with you  Memunah, we all have to think deeply before we take any drastic action that might have a negative result/effect.

[PrincessB]

Memunah thankyou for your recent comment.

Some people make rash decisions in haste, instead of calming down
and taking time to evaluate the intricate details of the current
situation.

Throwing a marriage out of the window, after investing precious
time and emotions, does not make sense.

That is my opinion...