Picture it: A man walks in from a long day at the office and continues to check his Blackberry throughout the evening at home. Does his wife have a right to feel annoyed? Or how about a woman who, the minute she has a spare moment, is IM-ing, checking her email or making phone calls, instead of talking to her children. Her attention is neither focused on them or the moment.
Both of the above scenarios describe "infomania" -- a new term that labels the seemingly harmless way technology has infiltrated our lives and blurred the separation between work and home.
A recent British study found that "infomania" -- an addiction to emails, text messages and the like -- produces a 10-point drop in IQ. Those who constantly stop what they're doing to check an email or return a call experience the equivalent of a poor night's sleep.
People often justify this technology habit as "work" or how they stay "connected," and many companies require 24-hour access to their employees. However, our relationships suffer across the board when a Blackberry and other technology addictions -- which is exactly what they are -- take precedence.
The bottom line is that time spent on your "Crackberry" and other technology comes at the expense of emotional intimacy. While we all need to pay the bills, there is a clear line between working to live and living to work. In fact, working too much can be a very good excuse for avoiding real intimacy -- and one that's hard to challenge if the person is supporting a family. However, it doesn't make up for the loneliness that many partners and children of these "infomaniacs" feel.
Intimacy takes work. Every couple knows that obvious interference such as poor communication, an extramarital affair, or substance abuse can take their toll on a relationship, and a family. But what about the far subtler addictions that rule our lives? The technology addiction is no joke. Like other addictions, it takes energy away from our partners and our children.
Technology is a fact of life, but when these tools of "convenience" become excessive, they diminish us as people and as partners. They take us away from the real business of life: connecting and loving.
Instead of justifying the lack of work-home separation, we need to remember this: You always have a choice. In a time of too many obligations and too little quality time, mustering up the courage to get rid of some of our technology addictions puts the focus back on our relationships-and what really matters.
